Master Russell

So after almost a decade I finally finished my Master's degree from Haaaaahvard Extension School. My dad really wanted to read my thesis so here it is, although I wouldn't recommend it unless you have a prescription from a medical professional for industrial grade insomnia. Please do not read while operating a motor vehicle or any heavy construction equipment.

You've been warned.

The best worst knock-knock joke ever

Emily: Knock knock!
Wifey: Who's there?
Emily: Knock knock!
Wifey: Who's there?
Emily: Knock knock!
Wifey: Who's there?
Emily: *giggle giggle* Knock knock!
Wifey: Who's there?
Emily: *giggle giggle giggle* Knock knock!
Wifey: Who's there?
Emily: Banana!
Wifey: Banana who?
Emily: Orange!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *deep breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

She's almost got the hang of it.

Marinara Sauce

A couple of people asked me about this recipe. Thought I'd share it with the world. It started out as lasagna sauce but it is great for any pasta.

Marinara Meat Sauce

These are the measurements for 1 lbs of meat. You can make as much at a time as you like.

Ingredients:

1 pound ground beef (you can sub ground turkey if you want it to taste like sand)
1 small/med onion, diced
1 carrot
1-2 cloves of garlic (mmmm garlic. more is better.)
1 28-ounce can of diced or crushed tomatoes (diced gives you more chunks of tomato. Crushed does not.)
1 12-ounce can of tomato paste
(optional) 1/2 cup of chicken/veggie broth.
2 tablespoon sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoon oregano (more of this is better)
1/2 teaspoon basil
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder/salt (not needed if you used fresh garlic above. Only here if you don't have that)
1 bay leaf

Directions:

1. Shave carrot and dice onion into big pot and sautee with some olive oil.
   
2. Add ground beef to pot and brown
3. When browned, tell your wife you drained the meat if needed. You can actually drain it but it won't taste as good or be as thick.
   
4. Lower heat to simmer
5. Stir in both tomatoes and paste.
6. Add the rest of the ingredients.
7. Stir everything together thoroughly
   
8. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer for about 1/2 hour per lbs of meat, stirring every 10 minutes. Depending on the consistency you may want to leave the cover askew on the top to let some water escape if its too runny.
   

Editorial Input

Emily: Mommy, tell me the Frosty the Snowman story?
Mommy: Sure sweety. Once upon a time it was winter...
Emily: No, it wasn't.
Mommy: Ummm, ok. Once upon a time it was fall and turning into winter and the snow began to fall...
Emily: No, I want the story without the snow.
Mommy: Ummm, the Frosty the Snowman story without the snow?
Emily: Yes, I just want the children and no Frosty and they fall down and bump their heads.
Mommy: Why don't you tell me what you did at school sweety.

Sports Apparel FAIL

This is what happens when your wife randomly picks out red and blue clothes for your son.



As several friends have pointed out it seems appropriate that the Giants ended up on top and the Pats are most likely the recipients of a steaming load.